What If Disney Sold Car Insurance
What if the Walt Disney Company decided to branch off into car insurance? The first thing we could all expect would be long lines to wait just to get a quote. They would not be straight lines either. Everyone would have to stand in a serpentine line for two hours just to speak to an agent. There would be express passes you could buy to skip ahead of the line and speak to an agent quicker, but don’t expect the cost of the express pass to be deducted from your premiums.
The Waiting Line
To help make the wait in line easier, the same song would play over and over again and it would go on at great length about the size of the planet relative to the experiences we all have while living on it. While we are all waiting in line, we will get to hear a recording done in the late 1960’s that explains how the agency was built and how much technology went into creating the phone system.
But getting your quote is only half the fun at Walt Disney Insurance Company. If you drink from the bottle on the table, your premium gets smaller. If you eat the cake you find on a plate on the floor, then your premium goes way up. You can play this game with the drink and the cake as long as you want, but at some point you will run out of drink and cake. Your premium could be up, or it could be down. What a mystery it would be!
Disney’s Own Agents
There are seven agents available to give you quotes, and they all have their own approach. Doc is the nice agent and he will try to find all of the premium discounts for you. Grumpy checks the mileage from your home to your work location to see how much the company can really charge you. Bashful still hasn’t reported in to work yet because he claims he just isn’t ready to face clients yet. Sleepy is at his desk but you will have to try to wake him to get a quote. Happy is just happy to see you and spends most of the appointment showing you pictures of his kids. Sneezy has been calling in sick since 1982 and has been on worker’s comp for years. Dopey is the office manager.
At Walt Disney Insurance Company you can try to pay your bill in Disney Dollars, but we prefer good old fashioned American currency. You can try to write a check while you are in our office to pay your premium, but all of our pens have invisible ink because that is just adorable. We recommend that you mail your payment in or make a payment online. It saves everyone a lot of aggravation.
Insurance For Real Cars
The Walt Disney Insurance Company has a special going on right for Model T cars that fly. If you happen to own an animated car that talks then we can give you a discount if the car can speak in two or more languages. Unfortunately, gibberish is not an acceptable language. But we do accept any vehicle that can do a really good imitation of Winnie the Pooh. Toy cars are not subject to premium discounts, but we do offer a lower deductible if your car’s best friend just happens to be a tow truck.
Which Cars Are Not Insurable?
There are certain kinds of cars that would not be insurable at the Walt Disney Insurance Company. Secret agent cars with thin moustaches and British accents are no longer insurable because they wind up trusting everyone and get in way too much trouble. Hippie vans are no longer insured by the company either because they, eventually, just wander away and are never heard from again.
At the Walt Disney Insurance Company our best agent is Goofy and our top adjuster is a duck that no one can understand. It may not be the ideal car insurance company, but the Walt Disney Company would certainly make it fun to try and get a quote.